Learning to trust your north star means honouring the quiet, persistent voice within that knows your more profound truth even when the path ahead is unclear or others doubt your direction. It’s the inner compass shaped by your values, lived experience, and intuitive wisdom, pointing toward what feels meaningful and aligned to you.

Are You Ready to Overcome What’s Holding You Back?

Reframing the Cognition

Anxiety treatment often unfolds along two deeply interconnected paths: somatic and cognitive. Somatic approaches recognise that anxiety lives in the body as much as in the mind. Tight muscles, shallow breath, aching body, and a racing heart; these aren’t just symptoms to suppress; they’re signals of distress, asking to be heard. Somatic therapies, such as breathwork, progressive muscle relaxation, somatic experiencing, and mindful movement (like yoga), gently guide the nervous system back toward a state of safety. By reconnecting with physical sensations and releasing stored tension, clients often find that healing begins not with words, but with presence. It’s a compassionate invitation to feel safe in one’s own skin again and rediscover oneself.

In parallel, cognitive approaches untangle the mental knots that anxiety weaves, those looping worries, catastrophic thoughts, and rigid beliefs that keep people stuck with fear. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) & (DBT) offer a structured, empowering way to notice these patterns and reshape them. Through techniques like cognitive restructuring, exposure therapy, and thought tracking, clients learn to challenge the stories anxiety tells and reclaim a sense of agency. While somatic work soothes the body’s alarm system, cognitive work brings clarity and choice to the mind. Together, they offer a holistic, human-centred path to healing, one that honours both the body’s wisdom and develops the mind’s resilience.

It is in confronting the thoughts that restrain us, the quiet narratives of doubts, fear, and conformity, that we will find our authentic selves. When we suppress our truth to fit into expectations or avoid discomfort, we lose sight of the expansive potential that lies just beyond those mental barriers, often feeling compelled to meet all expectations put upon us by others. True growth demands the courage to challenge internal limits, intrusive thoughts, and to honour our uniqueness, stepping into the fullness of who we are meant to be. Even if that involves some deep personal discovery to connect with who we truly are, the rewards are numerous and transformative over a lifetime.

A successful life is built on the integration of several key domains: health, relationships, purpose, personal growth, and joy. Physical and mental well-being form the foundation, enabling us to show up fully in our work and relationships. Meaningful connections with others foster a sense of belonging and emotional resilience, while a sense of purpose, whether through career, creativity, or service, provides direction and fulfilment. Personal growth, achieved through learning and self-reflection, enables us to evolve continually. Moments of joy, play, and rest replenish our energy and remind us of life’s beauty. There needs to be a personal reward above striving to survive, something that resonates within and navigates our direction of purpose.

Perfection in each area isn’t the goal; this might even be what's keeping you stuck. You don’t need to have all your ducks in a row to begin this journey. It’s the interplay between them that creates a life of depth and vitality. When our values align with our actions, and we nurture both our inner world and outer responsibilities, we experience a sense of coherence. Even during times of struggle, this balance helps us stay grounded and resilient. Success, then, becomes less about achievement and more about living with intention, connection, and authenticity. Living with this authentic balance will greatly reduce feelings of not being good enough, preventing intrusive thoughts, self-doubt and other aspects of your thinking that promote anxiety, resentment and restraint of never reaching your full potential. Once you know who you are, people pleasing for external validation falls away, and you begin to grow on intrinsic motivation.

At Anxiety Counselling Support, I offer solution-focused, strengths-based therapy and transformational coaching to help you reconnect with your purpose and regulate your emotions while moving forward with clarity and confidence.

Importantly, calmness isn’t just the absence of thought; it’s the presence of intentional awareness. By identifying your top values, simplifying your environment, and creating space for rest and reflection, you allow your nervous system to shift from sympathetic (fight-or-flight) to parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) dominance. This neurobiological shift fosters resilience, clarity, and a deeper sense of internal spaciousness, expanding your tolerance to stress.

Find Your “Why” Overcome Your Critic

If the thought of Monday morning fills you with anxiety or emotional exhaustion, it’s more than just a case of the “Sunday evening blues.” Chronic dread, stemming from any aspect of your life, especially when accompanied by physical symptoms such as headaches, poor sleep, or irritability, often indicates a misalignment between your role and your values, strengths, or environment. When your job or any other aspect of your life consistently drains rather than energises you, it’s worth exploring the root of such stress.

Reshaping critical thoughts begins with self-awareness, recognising when your inner dialogue turns harsh, judgmental, or defeating. The inner critic often echoes old fears, unmet expectations, or internalised voices from the past. Instead of fighting it, pause and examine the evidence: What is this voice trying to protect you from? What assumptions is it making? Are they true or false? By naming the thought and gently challenging its validity, you create space for a more compassionate, balanced perspective. Reframing isn’t about blind positivity; it’s about truth-telling with kindness and acknowledging if we have moved on or need help to do so.

To remove the grip of the inner critic, replace it with an inner coach. This can be achieved with professional help from someone who speaks with encouragement, curiosity, and respect. Practice affirmations rooted in evidence: “I’m learning,” “I handled that with care,” or “I’m allowed to grow.” Surround yourself with voices that reflect your worth, and engage in activities that reinforce your strengths. Over time, the critic loses its power not because you silence it, but because you’ve built a louder, wiser new voice that knows your value and leads with self-trust.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door to connection, healing, and authenticity. Still, we also risk being misunderstood, manipulated, or moulded into someone else's vision for us. In a world that often rewards conformity, vulnerability can become a magnet for those who seek to exploit it. They may project their expectations, impose their narratives, or subtly coerce us into roles that serve their comfort or ambition in swelling their ranks. The danger lies not just in being used, but in slowly losing sight of our own voice, our own rhythm, our own truth. An example of this is do with me what you will, often a part of a confirmation to a sect.

Yet vulnerability is not weakness; it is a sacred threshold. To protect it without hardening, we must learn to discern who honours our openness and who seeks to reshape it. The journey to self-discovery demands courage: resisting the pull of ticking others’ boxes, reclaiming our boundaries, and trusting that our authentic self is worth knowing, even if it doesn’t fit someone’s mould. When we choose to stand in our truth, we begin to rewrite the story not as a sacrifice to someone else's purpose, but as a living testament to our own ability.

When your purpose is unclear, even the most minor tasks feel overwhelming. But when your “why” is strong, effort becomes fuel, and obstacles become invitations to grow with my services as a personal development coach in London and Berkshire. Together, we can discover the unique qualities that make you who you truly are. Before diving into the “how,” let’s reconnect with your deeper reason for showing up.

Reflective Questions to Explore:

Why have you come to counselling?

What outcomes do you hope for?

What does a life worth living look like for you?

What brings you genuine joy?

How will you know you’re living beyond survival?

Practical Support solution-focused therapy

Low Self-Worth & Confidence

Explore the roots of low self-esteem

Build a positive self-image through self-compassion

Set achievable goals that foster self-worth

Perfectionism & Procrastination

Identify perfectionistic patterns

Develop time management

Gain motivational strategies

Celebrate progress over perfection

Navigating “Ifs and Buts” Thinking

Challenge catastrophic and hypothetical thinking

Build resilience and present-focused clarity

Finding Purpose & Connection

Explore personal values, interests, and passions

Engage in meaningful activities

Align your purpose

Strengthen self-awareness

Develop reflective practices

Anxiety & Relationships

Anxiety can deeply affect relationships, often through overthinking, excessive worry, mistrust and misinterpretation of neutral interactions.

From a neuroscience perspective, anxious attachment in relationships is deeply rooted in the brain’s threat detection and emotion regulation systems. The amygdala, our brain’s alarm centre, is hyperactive in individuals with anxious attachment, especially in response to perceived relational threats. Even subtle cues, such as a delayed text or a neutral facial expression, can trigger intense emotional reactions, as the brain interprets these signals as potential signs of abandonment. This heightened amygdala activity floods the system with cortisol, the stress hormone, creating a cascade of physiological responses that reinforce the urgency and fear associated with relational insecurity.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thought and emotional regulation, plays a crucial role in modulating these reactions. In securely attached individuals, it helps calm the amygdala and reframe relational cues more accurately. However, in those with anxious attachment, the connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala is often weaker. This explains why logical self-talk or reassurance from a partner may fail to soothe the anxiety; it’s not just psychological, but neurobiological. Under stress, the prefrontal cortex can even go “offline,” leaving the individual overwhelmed by emotion and unable to access calming strategies.

Fortunately, the brain is plastic. Through consistent, emotionally safe relationships and therapeutic interventions, new neural pathways can be formed. Practices like mindfulness, journaling, and somatic regulation help strengthen the prefrontal cortex’s ability to downregulate threat responses. Oxytocin, the hormone that promotes bonding, also plays a role in reinforcing feelings of safety and connection. Over time, these experiences can reshape the brain’s relational circuitry, enabling individuals to transition from an anxious to a secure attachment style not by suppressing their emotional intensity, but by reprogramming how their brain perceives and responds to relational cues.

Therapy can help you build emotional regulation, improve communication, and reconnect with your authentic self and others

Understanding Anxiety

Ever wonder why negative thoughts linger for years? Evolution hardwired us to focus on threats to survival. Anxiety is not a flaw in our design; it’s an ancient survival feature that once kept our ancestors alive. In prehistoric environments, hypervigilance to threats, social caution, and rapid fight-or-flight responses were adaptive traits, as they helped humans detect predators, avoid danger, and maintain group cohesion. However, in today’s world, where threats are often abstract, chronic, and social, such as deadlines, rejection, or uncertainty, this same system misfires. Our brains still react as if we’re facing lions in the grass, instead of unread emails or ambiguous glances. This mismatch creates an evolutionary trap: a once-helpful mechanism now triggers disproportionate distress, leaving us anxious in environments that no longer match our system’s original purpose.

The seven inner critics are internalised voices that aim to protect us but often do so through harsh self-judgment. These include the Perfectionist, Taskmaster, Inner Controller, Guilt Tripper, Underminer, Destroyer, and Moulder. Each critic has a distinct role: the Perfectionist demands flawlessness to avoid shame; the Taskmaster drives relentless productivity; the Inner Controller suppresses impulses; the Guilt Tripper enforces moral standards; the Underminer erodes confidence to prevent risk; the Destroyer attacks self-worth; and the Moulder pressures conformity. Though their methods can be damaging, they arise from early attempts to keep us safe, and with compassionate awareness, we can transform their messages into pathways for healing and growth.

Anxiety often hijacks our nervous system, locking us into survival mode where every sensation feels like a threat. In this state, we instinctively reach for avoidance, dodging discomfort, overthinking, numbing, or seeking control. These strategies offer temporary relief but reinforce the belief that anxiety is dangerous, something to escape. The trap deepens: the more we resist, the more anxiety persists. Our body remains hypervigilant, scanning for danger, while our mind loops through worst-case scenarios. This cycle can feel endless, exhausting, and leave us feeling isolated.

Claiming balance among all inner critics is essential because it transforms a hostile internal landscape into one of nuanced self-awareness and emotional regulation. Each critic, whether rooted in fear, perfectionism, shame, or comparison, carries a distorted survival strategy that is often inherited from our early experiences. When we acknowledge and integrate these voices rather than suppress or obey them, we activate the observing self: a compassionate, discerning part that can mediate between extremes. This balance allows us to extract useful insights without being hijacked by self-sabotage, fostering resilience, clarity, and a more authentic sense of self-worth.

The path to calm begins not with resistance, but with radical acceptance. When we allow anxiety to show up without judgment, resisting the urge to fix it, we interrupt the fear-avoidance loop by refusing to react or buy in.. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking anxiety; it means recognising it as a messenger, not a monster. By meeting it with curiosity and compassion, we signal safety to the nervous system. Over time, this rewires our response: anxiety becomes less threatening, and our capacity to stay grounded grows. Calmness isn’t the absence of anxiety; it’s the presence of self in the midst of it, confirming you are in control.

Adverse experiences demand more mental processing, and without support, it’s easy to become trapped. Solution-focused counselling helps you break free by reframing your mindset and reconnecting with your strengths, enabling you to live authentically. Life is not about finding yourself but creating yourself in your own wonderful colours.

Therapeutic Approach

My practice is rooted in empathy, respect, and collaboration. I integrate:

• 🧩 CBT for practical problem-solving

• 🧩 Psychodynamic therapy for deeper emotional insight

• 🧩 Solution-focused techniques to keep you moving forward

• 🧩 Authentic development to help you live in alignment with your values

Together, we’ll set meaningful goals and work toward sustainable change, enabling you to navigate future challenges with confidence.

The Universe Holds Treasures Within You

The universe watches to see if we’ll uncover the treasures hidden inside us. I’m here to help you find yours.

The days ahead are far more significant than the ones you’ve left behind.

Take the first step toward healing. Begin coping with anxiety. Reconnect with your voice.

Rewrite your story.